And I'm the Asshole?

Anyone who watched Obama's much touted speech on race last week could not help but have an opinion on the speech one way or another. Some saw his attempt as a pathetic excuse for backing a racist preacher, while others saw it as brave and nuanced, perhaps the first time race has been addressed by a politician in such a way. Some saw it politically, some saw it socially. I, however, saw it as an insult.

This was nothing more than a pathetic attempt by the candidate to pander to the liberal bleeding hearts by talking about how terrible racist people are, and how great it is to come from a diverse family. He's just rubbing it in. I watched the speech when it was originally aired. There was a rerun of "Full House" playing at the same time, so I had to flip back and forth, but I think I got the gist. What I heard was a man who said it's okay to hate white people. Well, isn't that a bit of a double standard? How would you like it if I went to a black neighborhood, and told everyone there that I hate black people? I can tell you from experience that you wouldn't like it one bit. I have the scars to prove it.

Obama's efforts may have fooled the proverbial choir he was singing to, but it will not satisfy those who demand a little more from their candidate than some empty rhetoric about how life isn't fair for some people, and too fair to others. Does he think this is Kenya? He should know that we all have the same chance to succeed here. How can he not see that? It's what America is all about.

And so, on behalf of the few of us who are not fooled by Obamas hocus pocus, I say this to you Mr. Obama. If you really mean what you say, then why do you say it with a teleprompter? Isn't it enough to just speak off the top of your head, and not lend thought to your actions? It worked for Mr. Bush.

Also, I think you owe an apology to all Indians out there. That's right. You say slavery was our original sin, but you didn't even mention the natives who we slaughtered well before we ever dragged a slave to this country. I think it's disgusting that you could ignore the millions we had to slaughter just to bring your people over here. Where's the appreciation for that?

And what about your infuriating comments regarding conservative talk show hosts? Are you suggesting that they have some other motive to not tell the truth; to ignore true racial tensions and blowing up insignificant ones? I believe it was you, Mr. Obama who used the OJ argument here. Our hands are clean of that debacle. But yours have bathed in the blood of a thousand pundits whose young promising careers lived and died with this unprecedented incident in American history. Are you going to tell them the OJ trial was insignificant? You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

I'm not done picking apart your circus act of a speech, but I think it's time we both move on. Lending my voice to the ongoing stream of commentary doing little more than fueling the popularity of this disgusting abuse of what is a serious issue. Besides, we got this recession on.

If you've recently purchased a house, owned a car or tried to invest money in anything, you may have noticed that it's not too easy these days. Mortgage rates are up, gas prices are way up, and every day the stock market dives faster than Mel Gibson's ranking on Vogues list of sexiest men alive (apparently antisemitism isn't so sexy, is it Mel?). But is this really the terrible recession we've all been fearing? I doubt it. In my lifetime, recessions have only come after really great boom times. Think 1999 after we had so many years of strong growth. What about now? We've barely had stable times, so it can't be possible that we have a recession. After all, the nail that sticks furthest up is the one that gets hammered down. This one is barely above wood level. So don't worry, folks. You'll receive almost $600 in the mail in the next few months, fixing everything. Besides, if the government is in such bad shape, how dumb would they have to be to just give money away? If you need to be completely reassured, just remember that...oh...I have to go "Bull Durham" is on AMC, I'll tell you next time. Good night.