I Want My Money Back...

I am "live blogging" (quotations because I'm watching on the west coast and it's on a time delay. Where the fuck are our live bloggers?) the Democratic debate tonight because it sounds like fun, and gives me an excuse to have poor grammar.

I want to start off by saying that Obama's restraint in respectfully answering the American flag pin question is impressive in itself. I would have lost it ten seconds into my answer, spewing out an angry tirade at the ignorant, superficial bitch who had the nerve to waste mine and everyone else's time by asking it. Maybe we should push him a little further by asking why he writes with his right hand. Is it a slight nod to the right wingers that he's their guy as soon as he's in office? What about his dark suit? Is that a nod to the fact that he will be in the pocket of the dark-skinned coalition once he's elected? Why does he insist on having his name be similar to a terrorist? Is it a nod to the terrorists out there that he will let them take over our country next January?

The two are doing exactly what they've been doing in the press these last couple of weeks. Hillary jumps on everything Obama says, spinning any sort of misspeak he makes that can offend voters, this month, Pennsylvanian voters. Obama talks about the "kind of politics" that people are sick of. I don't know why I'm watching this because nobody is going to read this blog in Washington where it matters. They've already gone to bed.

Someone just asked a reasonable question about Iraq. I'm going to listen...

The two seem to be making similar promises. I'm not sure why they're bothering with this question, unless they want to give Democrats a chance to shit on the current administration. They're really rockin' liberal luvin', talking about bettering our standing in the world, and making real progress towards making us safer.

And now we see the real reason for the question...a segue to Iran. Stephanopoulos, you sneaky bitch.

I'm listening to the candidates talk about protecting Israel right now, and I'm wondering what it is about that little country that we find so lovable? Is it their democratic ways? I'm sure we'd like to think that, but there are other democracies out there that we would give the time of day to. So what is it? Is it that they're ethnic, but not too ethnic? They're basically like us, we have plenty of them in our country, controlling our money and making our movies, exploiting our musicians. Ooh, we're on the economy...

Again, we're hearing the same old thing. Take from the rich, give to the poor. We've heard it before, Hillary. You may remember a young buck by the name of Hood who had a similar tax plan. Remember what happened to him? Me neither. Costner sucked in that. Obama is saying the same thing as Hillary, just in a different, more elitist-type way. I feel so condescended on. I'm going to take a shower...

Charlie's giving Obama shit about Capital Gains taxes. Let it go, Charlie. Everyone stopped listening a long time ago. I think Hillary's found another in here. Time's getting down there, she really needs to strike a blow because not much else is working. She's not the type to surrender, she'll burn down the fucking village just to see it doesn't survive her.

My bad, she's laying off him, just repeating what she said before. I guess I'm just being sexist again. I thought my anti-sexist pills would fix that goddamnit! She is once again trying to show Obama not to be a man of substance by saying that Obama is only looking at taxes, not focusing on investment. Maybe that lack of experience argument that didn't work for the past year will finally ring true to the billions of voters watching that one incredibly vague, veiled attack, causing them to rethink their position on Obama's qualifications and giving them no choice but to vote for her. Maybe Iowa, South Carolina and the other states that voted for Obama will go back and re-vote just to make sure they get it right this time.


Back to commercial. At this point, I have to say the winner is Obama. The fact that Hillary would even allow him on the same stage after it's so obvious that she's going to win the nomination is a victory in itself.

I just got a phone call from Mike Gravel and missed the rest of the debate. So, until next time...