A Sloppy Critique of a Sloppy Campaign...Sloppily...

"'You're Better Than Them, You've Been Born With White Skin.'"

You know it's getting really slow when The Note devotes the majority of the space on its daily "Sneak Peek" section to actual policy. The Note may be one of the best political reads around (not too far behind me), but as an avid reader for over four years I can't recall them discussing any kind of specific policy in all its nuance and splendor since...well...ever. They usually laugh at people who care about that shit, and why shouldn't they? It's not like what anyone says now is going to mean shit next January. Those who actually fall for that (people who vote) are little more than a means of keeping score. We don't actually associate with them, that would be improper.

But surely we must care what they think, because they have all the power (unless they abuse that power by not voting how we want, forcing us to take that power from them). So it is because of this that I am a little disappointed in The Note, and am not sure if I can read it anymore. It's becoming...common.

But back where things make sense, there hasn't been a lot going on since we last spake. I tried to "live blog" the last debate, but my assistant didn't tell me I had to hit "submit" each time I wrote something, so no one read it until the end when I had to leave because Youtube star presidential candidate Mike Gravel called me and wanted to know why he couldn't read my live blogging. He's a little older, and a lot more decrepit and creepy, so it took me a while to calm myself and explain to him that my assistant his an incompetent ninny who gives worse advice than the guy who told Hillary that attacking Obama would be bad for her image. Once he told me he wanted my social security number so he could read my soul, I decided it was time to end the phone call, but the debate was over and I was sleepy.

The last week was pretty boring, and I was out earning a living (I know, but I do this for free) so I didn't get to talk to you. So, we have plenty to discuss. Like I said, we can talk about McCain's health plan, and its contrast to Barack/Hillary's plan. But you're not a bunch of retarded monkeys, you know none of that really matters. What really matters is who gets to make it not matter, so let's talk process.

The debate was probably one of the most interesting to date. The first forty-five minutes contained nothing but pure, unadulterated bitch-slapping of Obama. They grilled him on Wright, they grilled him on the fact that he thinks he's better than us (he isn't?), they even had the balls to whip out the old no American pin wearing issue, that is so important to those retarded douche bags in what John Mellencamp calls the heart land (certainly not the brain-land). I've never been there, but it sounds just like a big slice of pie, hearty, fulfilling and full of empty calories.

Obama was not happy about this line of questioning. He look frustrated, and insulted that he had to stoop to ABC's salt-of-the-earth, Working-Class hero mediators who wanted answers to the questions that really matter. And Obama's cop-out "these are just distractions" wasn't playing with anyone, especially Hillary who was obviously fed up with Obama's question-dodging over the past year, and wasn't going to take anything but straight answers.

Were Obama's answers sufficient? Only if brutal honesty about the nature of a debate obviously designed to create contention between the front-runner of the race and everyone watching counts as sufficient. I, for one, was not satisfied. I was actually quite disappointed in his performance. Why didn't he apologize for not wearing the pin, and plead with the voters to forgive his egregious sin and possible act of terrorism? Doesn't he know that's what they want? Why would he do something they don't want him to do? Just because he believes in it? On principle? That's bullshit, he's totally in the wrong game.

But as if that wasn't damaging enough, Jeramiah Wright is back and badder than ever. After an interview on the best somewhat well-known, "Charlie Rose" program on late-night public broadcasting (drinking with Jared has my vote), Wright is in the process of giving a series of speeches that are being televised live, and even pre-empting the President's last National Correspondence dinner, the only time now that the President can make a joke without making his audience cry in an overwhelming wave of regret.

Obama obviously doesn't know how to put a leash on his cronies. Wright's not apologizing for what he said, and he's even making things worse. He's claiming that his offensive remarks can be found in none other than the Bible, what a sick fuck! I don't remember ever reading that God wanted to damn America! I further have no recollection of reading anywhere in the Bible anything about America belonging to a certain secret cult that I know we all kind of sort of miss for keeping things on an even keel...kind of like Vic Mackey...he may do more bad than good...but you can't help but feel safe knowing he's out there. Am I right? Tell me I'm wrong! Tell me! I dare you! That's right, you can't!

Was Bob Dylan lying when he said God was on our side? I don't believe it. Call him a worthless beat nick, but Bob Dylan is not a liar! If God's on our side, why would he want to damn us? It doesn't make sense. I think something needs to be done about Wright's incendiary remarks. Someone needs to tell him that this is the US of A, and we don't take kindly to people telling us when we're being assholes. We accept nothing but pure, undivided devotion from our subjects. This country wasn't created so just anybody could say whatever they want. And we will not sit by and watch as this man trashes our country. I'm calling you out Mr. Obama. You wrangle this guy, or we will be forced to destroy his life by ridiculing everything he says, does and appears to think. We certainly have the media resources for it. We'll sick Nancy Grace on you, bitch. Whaddya think of that?

Well, I've done my standard ignorant, racist rant, and it's probably time to go. Not a lot is happening right now and to tell you the truth, I'm getting a little bored with this whole charade. We both know McCain's going to win, so who cares who he beats? I guess the loser of the general election will be in a decent position to lose again in four years. So, I'm going to say farewell. I may have a hard time speaking for the next few weeks due to other obligations, but if something worth talking about actually happens, rest assured that I will talk about it...eventually. Ciao.